


Optimised

by MrProphet



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrProphet/pseuds/MrProphet





	Optimised

"Ladies and gentlemen, future investors, you are here to meet the future of war.

"The modern battlefield is a hazardous place, even when the firing stops. Balefire, unspent enchantments, landmines and about a thousand proprietary brands of foul miasmas and mystical resonance all linger long after the battle, and if you factor in active enemy fire and magical attacks, it quickly becomes apparent that the most expensive part of any tactical solution is the preservation of the basic delivery system; the soldier.

"Some have suggested a complete organic redundancy, but let us not underestimate the soldier. After millennia of weapons and UI development, there remains no better tactical operating system than the organic brain. Yes, the soldier is fallible, but the soldier is also more felxible, adaptable and bloody-minded than any undead animus. The problem is not the cerebral software, but the hardware. The body requires food, oxygen and water to be supplied almost constantly; it requires shielding from radiation and filtration against air- and water-borne toxins. It must be armoured against bullets and shrouded against magic.

"Many solutions have been put forward, but all have been predicated on defending the existing combat chassis... I'm sorry, body. Well, we here at Mordor Industries have taken a new approach; a total redesign of the essential hardware. By means of controlled breeding and genetic manipulation, we have produced what we believe to be the ultimate combat soldier. We're very excited about this product; we hope you will be too. Ungoliant; over to you."

"Thank you, Morgoth.

"As I know only too well, there are many ways for the meagre fleshsacks of even an elven body to be subjected to corrosive or toxic attack, but all come down to one of three vectors: The skin, the lungs and the stomach. By exposure to the blighted shade that vomits forth from my every orifice, we forced our brave elven volunteers to develop superior design features in all three areas: skin like leather, a pulmonary filtering system capable of breathing the sulphurous fumes of Orodruin itself and a digestive system that can process raw arsenic as a source of nutrition.

"The toughened dermal layer is hardened by repeated abrasion and liberal application of surgical spirits to create a form of natural armour, reinforced by the truly impressive muscle mass we have achieved in the primary subjects. We're also particularly pleased with this greenish tinge, caused by chlorophyl which permits the soldier to supplement food sources with a limited form of photosynthesis.

"Surgical elongation of the arms provides an advantage of reach and the selective reduction of the pain, morality and revulsion centres of the brain create a soldier devoid of conscience or restraint."

"The result of this painstaking work: the ultimate all-terrain, all-purpose warrior: the Optimised Reconnaissance Commando.

"Ladies and gentlemen, future investors; I give you the ORC!"


End file.
